When Worry Takes Over: Understanding Anxiety

Most of us worry from time to time. We worry about our children, our health, our relationships, finances, work, or what the future might hold. In many ways, worry is a normal part of being human.

Anxiety becomes more challenging when the worry feels constant, overwhelming, or difficult to switch off. Instead of helping us prepare for life’s challenges, anxiety can begin to interfere with our ability to fully engage in everyday life.

For many people, anxiety can feel like being stuck in a state of “what if?”—constantly anticipating problems, scanning for danger, or imagining worst-case scenarios.

Anxiety Is More Than Just Worry

Although anxiety often involves excessive worry, it is not simply something that happens in our minds.

Anxiety affects the whole body.

You may notice:

• Feeling constantly on edge or restless
• Difficulty relaxing, even when there is time to rest
• Racing thoughts
• Tightness in your chest, shoulders, neck, or jaw
• A racing heart or feeling short of breath
• Difficulty sleeping
• Feeling irritable or easily overwhelmed
• Struggling to concentrate
• Feeling mentally and physically exhausted

Many people are surprised to learn that anxiety can be incredibly tiring. When your mind and body are constantly preparing for possible threats, it can feel as though you are running a marathon without ever leaving the house.

Why Does Anxiety Happen?

At its core, anxiety is a protective response.

Our brains are designed to keep us safe. When a threat is detected, our nervous system activates, preparing us to fight, flee, or protect ourselves.

The challenge is that our brains do not always distinguish between a genuine danger and a perceived one.

A looming deadline, a difficult conversation, uncertainty about the future, or worries about our children can all trigger the same alarm system that was originally designed to help us survive physical threats.

When this alarm system becomes overactive, anxiety can begin to feel as though it is running the show.

The Cycle of Anxiety

One of the most frustrating aspects of anxiety is that the things we do to feel safer can sometimes keep anxiety going.

For example, someone who fears making mistakes may repeatedly seek reassurance. Someone who feels anxious in social situations may avoid social events. Someone who worries about their health may constantly check symptoms online.

While these behaviours often provide temporary relief, they can reinforce the message that the situation is dangerous, causing anxiety to return even stronger the next time.

This is one of the reasons anxiety can feel so persistent.

Anxiety in Children and Teenagers

Children and adolescents experience anxiety too, although it may not always look the way adults expect.

An anxious child may become clingy, avoid certain situations, struggle with sleep, complain of tummy aches, seek constant reassurance, or become emotional when faced with new experiences.

Teenagers may withdraw, become perfectionistic, overthink social interactions, or experience significant stress related to school, friendships, and future expectations.

Often, the behaviour we see is only the tip of the iceberg. Beneath it may be a young person who is feeling uncertain, overwhelmed, or afraid.

When Additional Support May Be Helpful

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. However, when it begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, school, work, or overall wellbeing, it may be helpful to seek support.

You do not need to wait until you are having panic attacks or feel completely overwhelmed before reaching out.

Sometimes the earlier we understand what is happening, the easier it becomes to develop healthy ways of coping.

How Therapy Can Help

In therapy, we work together to better understand your anxiety, identify the situations or experiences that may be contributing to it, and develop practical tools to manage it more effectively.

For children, this may involve play-based approaches, emotional awareness, and helping parents better understand and support their child’s emotional needs. For adolescents and adults, therapy often involves exploring thought patterns, emotional experiences, behavioural responses, and nervous system regulation.

The goal is not to eliminate anxiety completely. Anxiety is part of being human.

Rather, the goal is to help you feel more confident in your ability to manage it, so that anxiety no longer dictates the choices you make or the life you live.

If there is one thing I hope people understand about anxiety, it is this: anxiety is not a sign that you are weak or incapable. More often, it is a sign that your mind and body are working very hard to protect you. With understanding, support, and the right tools, it is possible to feel calmer, more grounded, and more in control again.

 

-Inge Alberts