Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it can often feel incredibly isolating. Whether we are grieving the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a significant life change, a lost dream, or a version of life we thought we would have, grief has a way of touching every part of us.

One of the most difficult aspects of grief is that many people expect there to be a “right” way to do it. We may wonder why we are not coping better, why we are still struggling months later, or why our grief looks different from someone else’s.

The truth is that grief is deeply personal. There is no timeline, no checklist, and no single path through loss.

Grief Is More Than Sadness

When people think about grief, they often think about sadness. While sadness is certainly part of the experience, grief can show up in many different ways.

You may experience:

• Waves of sadness that seem to come out of nowhere
• Anger or frustration
• Guilt or regret
• Anxiety and worry
• Numbness or feeling disconnected
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, or tension

Many people are surprised to discover that grief can feel confusing and unpredictable. Some days may feel manageable, while others may feel overwhelmingly difficult, even long after the loss occurred.

This is not a sign that you are grieving incorrectly. It is simply the nature of grief.

The Myth of “Moving On”

One of the messages our culture often communicates is that grief should eventually be “resolved” or left behind. People may ask when you will move on, get closure, or return to normal.

But grief is not something we simply get over.

When we lose someone or something important, our lives are changed by that experience. Rather than moving on, many people find that they learn to move forward while carrying the loss with them.

Over time, the grief may become less intense or less consuming, but the significance of the loss often remains. Healing does not mean forgetting. Healing means finding a way to continue living while honouring what mattered.

Why Grief Looks Different for Everyone

Our grief is shaped by many factors, including:

• Our relationship with the person or thing we have lost
• Previous experiences of loss
• Personality and coping style
• Family and cultural beliefs about grief
• Available support systems
• The circumstances surrounding the loss

Some people want to talk about their grief often. Others process more privately. Some cry frequently, while others rarely cry at all. Some throw themselves into work or practical tasks, while others need time and space to reflect.

None of these responses are inherently right or wrong. Comparing your grief to someone else’s often creates unnecessary pressure at a time when compassion is needed most.

Supporting Children Through Grief

Children experience grief too, although it may not always look the way adults expect.

A grieving child may ask the same questions repeatedly, become more clingy, show changes in behaviour, struggle at school, or move in and out of their grief while continuing to play and engage in everyday activities.

Children often process grief in smaller pieces. They may seem deeply upset one moment and then happily playing the next. This can feel confusing to adults, but it is often a healthy and developmentally appropriate way for children to cope with overwhelming emotions.

What children need most is honest, age-appropriate information, emotional safety, and trusted adults who are willing to answer difficult questions and sit with big feelings.

When Additional Support May Be Helpful

You may benefit from professional support if you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, isolated, or struggling to manage daily life. Similarly, children and teenagers may benefit from support if grief is significantly affecting their emotional wellbeing, relationships, or functioning.

Therapy does not take away the pain of loss, nor does it aim to make grief disappear. Instead, it offers a safe space to make sense of your experience, process difficult emotions, and find ways to navigate life after loss.

How Therapy Can Help

In my work, I view grief not as something to overcome, but as something to understand and make space for.

Together, we explore the unique story of your loss, the emotions that come with it, and the ways it may be affecting your life and relationships. Grief asks us to adapt to a reality we did not choose. This process is rarely linear and often takes longer than we expect. For children, this often happens through play, creative expression, and developmentally appropriate conversations.

If there is one thing I hope people understand about grief, it is this: healing from a loss does not mean forgetting your loved one or “moving on.” It means slowly adapting to a new reality, finding a different kind of normal, and learning to carry both the love and the loss with you.

And sometimes, having someone walk alongside you can make that path feel a little less lonely.

-Inge Alberts